Saying "No" is Hard

So, it's Saturday, and I'm taking a break from apprenticing "take-home" duties to offer up some discussion to all three of you who read this (I know I say that faux-bitterly, I really AM willing to be that patient kind of blog that keeps chugging along and gaining readers in a gradual way).

I love my friends. I come from and am surrounded by a community of generous people that honestly, I think I don't really deserve to know. You spoil me, guys. Anyway, as a generous group of people, its common practice for us to offer our talents to each other for free. You fix computers for a living? Can you check mine for viruses? What's that, you're a nurse? Can you check out my shoulder? It's all normal for a group of friends to help each other out for free. Otherwise we'd all address each other as "Sir" or "Ma'am" and refer to each other as 'clients.'

But at some point, there's gotta be a limit. If I'm a computer guy working full-time, and in my weekends and off-hours my friends were always asking me to fix their computers, at some point I would have to say no. There's a point at which working for free, when you're not motivated from the heart to do it, damages a relationship. If it comes from a generous heart, then it's all good. But sometimes people will say "yes" because they don't want to look like jerks, not because they're being saintly.

Anyway, the point. As a dude who's surrounded by entrepreneurs, and who is being trained to draw professionally, I get a lot of requests for pro-bono work. Multiples of my friends want to do comics, or want a logo, or some kind of design. The thing is, I'm pretty busy with school, maintaining my car (which is like a moody girlfriend, but without the fun parts of actually having companionship), and doing actual drawing. But I don't want to seem like a douche who's just hogging my talents and refusing to use my skills to help out my friends. So I don't say no. And end up with a bunch of obligations that I resent, or flake out on, or just have hanging on my 'to-do' list. Sometime last year, my friends all of a sudden had a hankering to do graphic novels or something, and now it seems like every week I get a "Hey, I have this idea, and blah blah blah blah would you like to do this with me?" And after a while, I said "Sure, write something, and we'll talk about it."

Now, for the most part, that stops basically everyone. Most people would love to write a comic, except for the process of actually writing a comic. Or pitch, or (insert project type here). But sometimes, it's just less complicated to say no.

I don't know. I just feel like people take my time for granted. Like, "Hey, James draws. And I'm sure he doesn't do anything with his time." That is not at all what people are thinking towards me, I know, but sometimes you can't help feeling that way.

I don't know. If you are a friend who has asked for my involvement with an idea, this is not directed at you directly. It's mostly just my mood at the moment. I have a general problem saying no. If I had all the time in the world, I would do every project thrown at me for free, but at some point I just have to budget my time and set boundaries. Maybe I just have the wrong attitude. Those with greater amounts of wisdom, experience, or a combo of the two, please feel free to give me advice.

Oh, and PDK, you're the exception. Holy CRAP is your idea amazing.